The Rork's on Thirteenth Ave

I started my period today, even though I wouldn't call it much of a period. Before my miscarriage, before I got pregnant, my periods where always right on, never irregular. I knew exactly the day I would start. I had cramps 1-2 days, and horrible back pain before it started. When it started, it was heavy, and painful. So painful I sometimes had to miss school when I was younger because it would almost make me pass out. I'd have to lay on the couch with a heating pad, and breathe like I was giving birth. That lastest only the first day, then the next 3 days would be easy going, just a little heavy the 2nd, and sometimes the 3rd day, and by the fourth it was basically gone. I never "spotted" either. I was either bleeding, or not. That simple. My miscarriage was actually less painful than some of my periods. It hurt, don't get me wrong, really badly, but I've felt worse. After I got my period on September 12th, it was a little longer than normal. A day or two, but not bad. I didn't think anything of it. I was supposed to start my period this past Monday. Yesterday marked 3 days late, but with NO positive pregnancy test, and I was getting very anxious.

My last period, I didn't have cramps at first, at all. It was very light spotting at first, then it went crazy from there, heavy the whole time, and a couple days longer. It was strange, and not my "normal". Today, I "started" my period, three days late. That means my cycle was 31 days. Again, no cramps. At all. When I woke up, my back hurt, but that's almost an every day accurance because I'm dumb and we bought the wrong type of mattress I should be using. I don't have ANY menstural cramps, AND I'm barely bleeding. I'm not even wearing a pad or using a tampon (TMI?) I can only see it when I wipe, and that's it, but it's red. It's not a lot at all, it's very light, and like spotting kind of.

I don't know what to do, or what's going on with me. I want my normal periods back, or at least figure out how this new "normal" is, so I can start tracking my periods, because I want to try again! Ugh. I'm so anxious, annoyed, and frusterated. Ugh.

I colored my hair, and tonight is Kerri's bacherlorette party. I may do a vlog later.